Feeling angry, or is someone getting you pissed? Do not let one angry moment ruin your day , your week, your month, your year or your life. It is not easy most times to not be angry when it seems right to do so. Can you choose not to be angry? is this even possible. How do you deal with anger issues.
There are many ways one could deal with being angry, and it will definitely be hard to find one solution that fits all as contexts and cases will always differ. However, a good place to start from could be to ask yourself this question, WHY??
And continue asking why till you find the answer inside of you, the truth in your inside will speak the answer to you and you will reunite with peace again.
e.g., Someone slanders your name or slaps you. This is sufficient to make most people angry right? Yeah. Lets ask ourselves the Whys
Why are you angry?
Answer: This person just slapped me, slandered my name, spoke ill of my person, disrespected and insulted me. or whatever other way this has made you feel.
Why did they do that?
You may know the answer, or you may not. You could find out or you may not. Could be politically motivated, it could be a joke (an expensive one), it could be just attention seeking, whatever the reason might be.
Are you feeling angry?? do you feel the negative emotion rising, Its an energy from inside of you, rising like fire, looking for more fuel. From the answers to the first two whys you may have found a good source for this fire of anger. Like the fire triangle, removing one of the components of the fire triangle can stop the fire. The source, Oxygen and combustible material(fuel). Replacing the thoughts on the hurt done with more positive thought can have huge impact on this angry fire burning inside.
The way I interpret this is making excuses for people. Giving them grace instead of punishment for their wrong. If someone does me wrong. Instead of dwelling on the answers to the 2 whys, why am I angry and why did he slap me. I will focus my mind on the excuse i make for the person and feel more positive energy. The anger just flies away. e.g wow that slap was painful, if it was a joke, then I get it, but i will just let him know i don't appreciate such jokes, If he was looking for a fight, I will laugh it off, and say wrong address, why should we fight, I am not interested. If he was trying to be oppressive. I will see that as his own problem, an inferiority complex he has, that makes him try to assert his better-ness over others. I just laugh it off and go away happy. I always make excuses for people as it creates a better energy, plus keeps the heart light and free of excess thoughts. Just pick one excuse, walk away and let your life go on.
Are you saying we should just allow people go on with their bad attitudes? ermm, no, Just saying you maintain your own positive energy around you, and not allow the ills and negatives of the other person rob you of your own happiness. You can be of better help to the person when you are positively aware and most times after the heat of the moment. When a person comes with some negative heat, or unpleasantness, do not feed this negative energy, its like a trap. That little fire of anger inside, calling for more fuel, calling for a reaction from you that will feed the angry fire. Do all you can to resist this temptation. To help, much later, make subtle and positive suggestions on how the other person can get better. Yeah, you can not be bothered about helping the other person if you are still dwelling in that negative hurt as well. You ought to have let it go and mind your language when starting the dialogue. Avoid using aggressive language. Approach this dialogue from a positive place.
If you are becoming angry, take a deep breath and try counting down from 10 - 1. as in 10, 9, 8....etc.
If you are driving, and you are becoming angry, what I do sometimes, is try to take my mind way from the negative thought, and look for ways to help someone, like another motorist trying to get in my way, just allowing them go in before me, and they nodding and raising a hand in appreciation, normally releases some positive energy. Or pedestrians trying to cross....
Best still don't drive when angry.....
There are other deeper and simpler approaches to dealing with anger. However the deeper and simpler approach might sound too simple and unconventional for many and can only be received when the individual is ready. However post has presented an approach to dealing with anger from the writers point of view.
Thanks for reading....
Please drop your comments and contributions on anger and how you deal with it
New International Version
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.
New Living Translation
Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.
English Standard Version
Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.
King James Bible
Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
Holman Christian Standard Bible
Don't let your spirit rush to be angry, for anger abides in the heart of fools.